Book Review: Growing up Amish by Ira Wagler
There’s always value in reading about a way of life and
culture that you know nothing about.
Growing up in Ohio, I knew the Amish only as a mysterious and secretive
group that lived out in the hinterlands – “Amish Country” we called it in
Cleveland. As a child, it seemed a
million miles away, both physically and philosophically. As an adult, you can get there inside
of 30 minutes from where I grew up, and I no longer find religious extremism
mysterious.
Ira Wagler is a fine and talented writer who brings the
Amish family and community where he was raised to life in a very accessible
way. It’s engrossing to read about
the rituals of life and courtship, school and work, from a perspective that
seems American but oddly distinct.
It’s hardly a surprise – stripped of cultural touchstones, there’s a
richness of experience to explore but also a chilling alienation.
Wagler’s older brothers chart his course early when they
vanish into the night, an apparently not-uncommon occurrence in Amish
families. Boys, eager to dispense
with family drama, slip away when everyone else has gone to bed to flee the
grueling work schedule and lack of opportunity. There’s just one course available – marriage, farm work and
family. Ok, there are more – you
can repair buggies or do something else that helps other Amish families live
their lives without the benefit of technology, but let’s face it – it’s an
automatic limit that boys and girls must accept.
Let's not even mention the unbearable isolation this must create for LGBT Amish people. Wagler doesn't, and it seems a blaring omission.
Let's not even mention the unbearable isolation this must create for LGBT Amish people. Wagler doesn't, and it seems a blaring omission.
Wagler doesn’t accept these constraints, but neither does he
outright reject this constrained way of life. He does flee, crushing his parents, but returns only to flee
again. And again. I think he left something like four
times, which sets up some really interesting religious conflict. Redemption is a powerful force in the
Amish world, probably of necessity, and he takes advantage when he can (once he
can’t – a really interesting story in itself.)
Wagler’s conflict eventually ensnares a young Amish girl who
accepts his courtship and gladly agrees to marry him, only to make his final
break with the Amish way of life more poignant, since the girl was committed to
her family and community. It would
be easy to condemn him for the way he uses this girl to test his own faith, but
he was still just young enough to let him escape with only our regret, not our
disgust with this somewhat underhanded method. Even at the time of writing this memoir, he doesn’t seem to
be aware that this is a possibility, but lack of self-awareness is a common
human failing of which we are all guilty.
I recommend
this book to anyone interested in learning more about the Amish.